Mary Sues and Totems

22 days and counting until NaNo!

I'm going to start off today by bringing up the dreaded Mary Sue. Now, it used to be fairly straightforward for people to pick these little nuisances out, but the term has become a lot more widespread in it's use in the last few years. A discussion that you might find interesting on what it means to have a Mary Sue can be found here in the NaNoWriMo forums.

Mary Sue has a long history. I'd say more, but you can find a delightfully informative essay on the matter at 150 Years of Mary Sue. I can't beat that out, and I;m kinda just trying to get past this. I'm lazy, so what?

So, today's links are to my favorite Mary Sue tests.

The Writer's Mary Sue Test
The Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test
The Original Fiction Mary Sue Litmus Test

Now on to the fun part.

I mentioned in my last post that I was planning on having totems/guests this year to help out with my NaNo? Well....

They arrived.

I open up my package, and pull out my totems!

YES! HALO ACTION FIGURES! Red Leader and Master Chief to be precise. But I noticed something right away that threw me off a little. Look at Master Chief (he's the one on the right for those who aren't fans of the game.) His pose is a little...strange. Very "what you say girl" for lack of a better description.

Ignoring this, I carry on opening the box, and soon my new minions were free.

Master Chief: "HAI!"

Initially stunned dumb by this greeting, I helped them climb out of the packaging, "Master Chief" keeping up a stream of inane chatter about birds, travel, how warm the air was, riding stuff, complaining about not riding stuff, wanting a taco, and various other topics that had even me getting annoyed by the time I got the packaging out of the way. That was about the moment I realized something was wrong here.

Me: "You aren't Master Chief."

Master Chief: "Sure I am!"
Me: "No. No you are not. And this is a problem, because my box said I was getting Master Chief."
Master Chief: "No. no, I am!"

At this point, Red Leader just silently puts his head in his hands, and then turned around.

Me: "What is your real name?"
Master Chief: "...Katz, ma'am."
Me: "What was that? I could have sworn what you just said was not Spartan 117: John."
'Master Chief': "Master Chief Petty Officer Katz-707, reporting for duty!"

Something about his name caused a sinking sensation in my soul.

Me: "Like I said, you aren't Master Chief."
Katz: "You ordered A Master Chief, ma'am. I am A Master Chief."

The worst part was, once I looked at the box, he was right. Nowhere on it did it say I was getting the Master Chief from the games.

I think I could have taken this a lot easier if he'd just shut up for a little while and let me process this.

No luck.

Katz: "Hey, I'm better than him anyway! Who needs prestige and respect and the Arbiter as a friend and really big guns, I mean I have a flamethrower how badass it that? and all the good toys like the tank, they never let me drive the tank, it's not like I'd break it, I mean it was only the one time and it wasn't even in that good of shape to begin with and anyway, or Cortana, ooh, Cortana I could live with having Cortana since she's once got one helluva foxy holo..."

 DONK!

Me: "Red Leader, right?"

He just nodded at me, and snapped a salute. I reached out to shake his hand.

Me: "I think we're going to get along fine, you and I."


BONUS:
Apparently, Katz doesn't stay down for long, because soon enough he was out...making ...friends.

Katz: "I FOUND SANTA!"

Yeah. I'm not sure how that'll work out.